- 8 minutes, 30 seconds
Video Summary
Dr. Laurie Santos, a psychology professor at Yale and host of “The Happiness Lab” podcast, explains that our minds often mislead us about what will make us happy. We tend to “miswant” things like money, possessions, and status, assuming they’ll bring lasting happiness, but they often fall short.
Santos highlights several “annoying features” of our minds that contribute to this:
- Reference points: We constantly compare ourselves to others, leading to dissatisfaction even when we’re objectively well-off.
- Hedonic adaptation: We get used to things over time, so even positive experiences lose their initial impact.
- Impact bias: We overestimate how long and intensely positive events will make us happy.
To overcome these biases and boost happiness, Santos suggests “rewiring” our habits by:
- Prioritizing social connection: Spending time with loved ones is crucial, yet we often underestimate its importance.
- Practicing kindness: Helping others has a greater positive impact on our own happiness than focusing solely on self-care.
- Cultivating gratitude: Regularly acknowledging what we’re grateful for shifts our focus to the positive.
- Savoring positive experiences: Paying attention to and appreciating good things in the moment enhances their impact.
- Exercising: Physical activity has a significant impact on mental well-being.
Santos emphasizes that these strategies are not a cure for serious mental health conditions but can be helpful tools for improving overall well-being. She also stresses the importance of accepting negative emotions as natural signals, learning to regulate them in healthy ways, and, most importantly, putting these happiness strategies into practice consistently.